I Beg Seattle to Shut Up

When I was a kid, my parents used to line us all up in our rubber boots and hand-me-down raincoats and take us on puddle walks. We also went on popsicle walks, and flashlight walks – anything to get us outside burning energy – but it’s the puddle walks that I can’t seem to outgrow. Lucky for me, the Pacific Northwest provides ample opportunity and my dog is an ever-eager companion. I have, however, changed the rules just slightly – summer puddle walks have to be barefoot. Pale toes on sopping cement, I don’t necessarily need to jump in the puddles anymore but I certainly love to pass intentionally through them. It’s no longer barefoot weather but the puddle boots are out, the rain teases and without my siblings abreast I still find time to walk.

The point is, the rain doesn’t really faze me, at least not in the capacity that I have ever known it. But that isn’t to say that I’m not intimidated by the prospect of six saturated months. That’s daunting even to puddle jumpers like me. I would really rather not think about it and I’m quite content to believe that it will be sunny again tomorrow, even if there is only a 1% chance. Ignorance really is bliss, at least in this sacred first season when I can foolishly believe in the prospect of rays.

So this is a message to all of you Seattlites who have been here longer than 2 months, to anyone who has already endured one of Seattle’s infamous rainy seasons: I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT! Believe it or not, it doesn’t help when you ask how I’m handling it, or what I think. It doesn’t make my pants dry any quicker for you to tell me that it has officially begun. It certainly doesn’t boost my morale to be reminded, again and again and AGAIN, that we’re in this for the long haul and my ass won’t be dry for the next half-year. It doesn’t help! Just buy me a coffee and turn the conversation to your latest weekend escape or a fabulous chili recipe or your secret source of free firewood. That might actually be constructive, it might help me endure. But shut up already about the damn rain!

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